Engineering jokes and humors

Engineering jokes and humors

• Real Engnieers.
  1. Real Engineers consider themselves well dressed if their socks match.
  
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  2. Real Engineers buy their spouses a set of matched screwdrivers for their birthday.
  
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  3. Real Engineers wear mustaches or beards for "efficiency". Not because they're lazy.
  
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  4. Real Engineers have a non-technical vocabulary of 800 words.
  
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  5. Real Engineers think a "biting wit" is their fox terrier.
  
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  6. Real Engineers know how to take the cover off of their computer, and are not afraid to do it.
  
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  7. Real Engineers know the second law of thermodynamics - but not their own shirt size.
  
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  8. Real Engineers repair their own cameras, telephones, televisions, watches, and automatic transmissions.
  
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  9. Real Engineers say "It's 70 degrees Fahrenheit, 25 degrees Celsius, and 298 degrees Kelvin" and all you say is "Isn't it a nice day"
  
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  10. Real Engineers give you the feeling you're having a conversation with a dial tone or busy signal.
  
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  11. Real Engineers wear badges so they don't forget who they are. Sometimes a note is attached saying "Don't offer me a ride today. I drove my own car".
  
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  12. Real Engineers' politics run towards acquiring a parking space with their name on it and an office with a window.
  
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  13. Real Engineers know the "ABC's of Infrared" from A to B.
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  14. Real Engineers rotate their tires for laughs.
  
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  15. Real Engineers will make four sets of drawings (with seven revisions) before making a bird bath.
  
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  16. Real Engineers' briefcases contain a Phillips screwdriver, a copy of "Quantum Physics", and a half of a peanut butter sandwich.
  
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  17. Real Engineers know that Halloween is really the same as Christmas, because OCT 31 = DEC 25. (If you _don't_ get it, then you're not a Real Engineer.)
  
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  18. Real Engineers don't find the above at all funny.